Remembering Mom

This post is not my typical travel blog update.  Normally I'm writing about the places we visit in our travels or adventures in full-time RV life.  In my last post we had finally made it to Florida and were at Gamble Rogers State Park in Flagler Beach.  From there we traveled to Tomoka State Park in Ormond Beach.  We met up with a friend for dinner in Daytona Beach and ran into John and Jill, the owners of Charlie's Inn, the campground where we spend the summer and some other Lake Clear folks.  Small World!  From there we went to Sebastian Inlet State Park in Vero Beach and honestly were barely able to leave the camper because the gnats were so bad!  When we arrived one of the campground hosts came over and said, "I see you have your windows open.  That's not a good idea.  The bugs will come in and it will be so bad you'll have to run your AC really high until the cold kills them all.  I'd suggest you close the windows and put the AC on now."  We were dumbfounded.  We rarely ever use the AC, even in FL and this sounded like a miserable way to spend 3 days, and it was.  We'd never return.  And finally we traveled further south to Jonathan Dickinson State Park in Jupiter, Florida.  Johnathan Dickinson was a relief after being cooped up avoiding the "no see-ums" at the last park and we had a large open site and were looking forward to exploring the park and the area.  We'd been there a day when I got the phone call that I should come back to New York as my mom was not doing well.  We called the RV park where we were scheduled to move the following week for the remainder of the season and asked if we could arrive a few days early.  We drove to Fort Myers set up the camper and flew home.

My mom, Wendy, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in January 2018.  That was only two years ago!  It NEVER occurred to me that she would be gone so quickly.  We made it home in time to share her last few days.  On December 18th, she went to her heavenly home.  As sad a day as it was for us, we were happy for her to be at peace at last.  As I reflect on the last few years, I'm so grateful we had so much time together.  Here's a little walk down memory lane.

Washington Park, Tulip Festival, May 2016

Proctor's Theatre, Schenectady, November 2017

Ambrosia Diner, Queensbury, October 2017

Jack's Bistro, Glen's Falls, April 2018

Family Dinner at Uno's Pizzeria, Queensbury, June, 2018
Dean, Maria, Gregory, Mema, Alana, Cema, Dad and Mom 

Docksider Restaurant, Queensbury, August 2018

Family Breakfast the day after Dan and Kayla's Wedding, Ithaca, NY 2018
David, Jack, Peter, Karen, Dean, Maria
Meg, Kelly, Carol, Scott, Mom and Dad

When we got back to New York this spring after our first year on the road, I found myself spending more time caring for mom as her memory declined and her needs increased.  On May 2nd, the day before my birthday, mom asked me what year I was born. She had to confirm that she was right that I was born on the 3rd.  I’m not sure that even seemed strange to her. She was getting so used to not being able to remember things.  It took my breath away. I’d gotten used to her not knowing that she had told me how funny the movie she saw last week was - three times already.  I’d gotten used to the fact that her brain has an overactive delete button. It just came as quite a shock to see a piece of me get deleted.

TGI Friday's, Saratoga Springs, May 2019

Mother's Day outing to the Roosevelt Mineral Bath's Spa, Saratoga Spring, May 2019

Enjoying a cup of tea together, May 2019

Lunch at The Spot, Queensbury, June 2019

Pizza Night with Alana and Gregory, July 2019

Going for a walk behind the apartment, July 2019

In July mom ended up in the hospital as the Alzheimer's melted her brain and her grasp on reality slipped away.  The doctor's determined that she needed 24 hour care and supervision and could only be released from the hospital when that could be provided.  That meant finding a nursing home placement.  The only nursing home with a memory care unit with an opening was in Elizabethtown, which was almost an hour and a half away.  On August 6th she moved to the Essex Center in E-town.  

Checking out the flowers in the courtyard at the Essex Center, August 2019

Visiting on Luau Day, August, 2019

Mom showing off her new shirt matching manicure, September 2019

Visit with the kids: Alana, Mema, Gregory, Maria and Mom, October 2019

This was a difficult transition but eventually mom did settle in, but the distance was a huge issue.  We were very grateful when an opening became available close to home in October.  On October 23rd mom moved to Fort Hudson Nursing Home in Fort Edward.  

Our last photo together, Fort Hudson, October 2019

I fully expected that when we returned to NY in the spring we'd see her again.  Alzheimer's had other plans. I am so grateful that my daughter Maria spent an extraordinary amount of time with her once we were back on the road this fall.  She visited her almost daily and in her final days was with her round the clock.  My brother and sister also were able to get to spend time with her before she passed.  

I find myself thinking, "Oh I should call mom and tell her..." and then catch myself.  So I just have the conversation I was going to call about in my head, and trust she's listening.  I carry her in my heart and will take her with me on all our future adventures.